Weeks #14 to #16

To feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!

Hey there 👋

I got my Driving License a couple of days ago 🥳🚗 even though, to be honest, I’m not very comfortable behind the wheel yet, but I guess I just need a little bit of practice. Fake it ‘til you make it, people.

Notion’s been my note-taking companion for a couple of years now, but only lately I’ve started really leveraging the bi-directional links, connecting ideas as I learn new things, and I realized it’s so cool, mind-blowing! As a result, new content is basically emerging by itself as “islands of connected ideas”. Rather than just dumping the best ideas I’ve discovered during the week, I’ll try to focus on the connections between the ideas. Hope you’ll learn something useful or have “a-ha!” moments!

🩹 Desire, Toxic Positivity, Science, and Antifragility

One may avoid unhappiness forever by blinding oneself to desires. Does it work? Yes. Is it healthy? No! It’s very toxic.

We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.

Just like anything done in excess, when positivity is used to cover up or silence the human experience, it becomes toxic. By disallowing the existence of certain feelings, we fall into a state of denial and repressed emotions. The truth is, that humans are flawed. We get jealous, angry, resentful, and greedy. Sometimes life can just flat out suck. By pretending that we are “positive vibes all day,” we deny the validity of a genuine human experience.2

Figuring out the truth will lead to happiness3. Blinding yourself from desires means not pursuing truth. You want to have desires and allow yourself to feel bad, but only desires worth having, no silly things.

Negative emotions have an inherent purpose. They help us. They are signals that we need to do something. If we ignore them or train ourselves to ignore them, we’re limiting ourselves in a lot of ways.

Happiness comes from solving problems. If you pretend you have no problems in your life to solve, then you'll be happy. And if you also find problems in your life that you want and can solve, then you'll be happy. The secret sauce is finding problems that you "want to have", that you "enjoy having".4

When we go to the gym and lift weights, we're putting pressure on our muscles. As a result, we actually grow stronger.

On the psychological level, you know what that's called? PTG, post-traumatic growth. So where post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, is about breaking down, post-traumatic growth is about growing stronger as a result of the pressure of stress. It's antifragility.5

Life's three best teachers: heartbreak, empty pocket, failures.— Haemin Sunim

Just like in science we are at The Beginning of Infinity6 of only improvements and more accurate explanations, in life we are at the beginning of a journey of only improvements and fuller experiences.

We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!— André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name7

🏀 NBA players and the thing you want to be great at

Setting a goal like this, backed by a burning desire to achieve it, wouldn’t allow for anything less than high commitment, discipline, and dedication.

Whatever thing you want to be great at, tips on how to achieve self-evidently huge goals like these can definitely help you too!

Here are some tips I’ve found on the internet9 on how to become a professional player. I encourage you to think about them in a broad way, get into the mindset, and eventually apply the equivalent for whatever thing you’re trying to be great at.

1. Don’t be afraid to dream big.

   A limitation is only as powerful as the energy you give to it. Your dreams also follow this same law.— Ed Latimore

2. Read books, rewatch games and analyse them from different perspectives while taking notes. If you’re only in it for the money, you won’t last long. You need passion and absolute love for the game for this project to be viable in the long run.10

   You don’t have to know how to make a movie. If you truly love cinema with all your heart, and with enough passion, you can’t help but make a good movie.— Quentin Tarantino

   To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable.— Ludwig van Beethoven

3. Play with people who are better than you are.

   You become the people you surround yourself with.— Mark Zuckerberg

4. Increase your endurance by implementing healthy habits.

   Like it or not, you're a physical object. Everything you do, say, or think is done by your meat. If you haven't done any cardio recently, do some. If your diet is terrible, get better food. If you're smoking, stop. If you're stressing the hell out, chill.— Dynomight

5. Find the right coach.

   A coach is someone that sees beyond your limits and guides you to greatness!— Michael Jordan

6. Use every skill you have to your advantage.

   Escape competition through authenticity.— Naval

7. Be a leader on and off the court.

   Integrity is when we say the same things publicly that we say privately.— Simon Sinek

8. Play as many tournaments as possible.

   Play iterated games. All returns in life, whether in wealth, relationships, or knowledge come from compound interest.— Naval

9. Play internationally if possible.

   Many of the anxieties that harass you are superfluous… Expand into an ampler region, letting your thought sweep over the entire universe.— Marcus Aurelius

🎧 Songs I had on repeat these weeks

(no music videos this week, just put your headphones on and close your eyes)

• Germination (YouTube, Spotify)
• Fourth of July (YouTube, Spotify)

🦉 Quote of the weeks

Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.— Banksy